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Having noted that I can pray up to four times (or more) for healing, I have been asked the question, "Why do I need to command the healing more than once? Why isn't once enough?" So since I had never asked God that question, I decided to journal about it. I have noticed that many times not much happens the first time I command a healing, but if I do it immediately again, very often a level of healing occurs, and if I do it again, then an even greater healing is manifest, so...

You know that salvation is a free gift by my grace, but you also read in my word about counting the cost to follow me. This occurs after salvation and you have been taught that it will cost you everything. Does this cause you to look at your house and vehicle and realize they belong to me? Does this become a stressful exercise as you inventory all your possessions? Yet it doesn’t stop there, for you have some intangible things. Following me will cost you your reputation and independence, even as I made myself of no reputation and did only what I saw the Father doing. Unless a grain of wheat dies it abides alone. Lay down your life for me that you may truly live. 

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You know how important forgiveness is in the Christian faith. You delight and rejoice that I have forgiven your sins. You know that I expect you to forgive others in turn. When they come to you and ask your forgiveness you grant it even if you have been deeply hurt. How do you deal with those who need forgiveness from you but do not seek it? You cannot ignore this situation, but you can’t insist that they seek it from you. Determine in your heart to grant them forgiveness. Make this as deliberate as if they were contrite before you on bended knee and I will release your burden and heal you. This is a transaction in the spirit realm. Do you wonder how it is completed for them with unsought forgiveness granted? Leave that to me. I will be pleased with your obedience. 

I promised an abundant life to my followers. Do you think this is easily attainable for the wealthy, who can afford anything they want, buying conveniences and indulgences and hiring others to do mundane drudgery that they may have their own time free for whatever they wish? Yet my promise of an abundant life is for rich and poor alike. Have you not seen rich people who aimless and adrift despite their wealth, without purpose and direction in life? Have you not seen poor people who are rich in faith, with a sense of mission and destiny, having a life full of opportunities and accomplishments? A man’s life does not consist of the extent of his possessions. Those who lay up treasure in heaven have abundant lives in this world as well.

Do you think of risk takers as gamblers and find this behavior to be inconsistent with the values of your fellow church members? Yet isn’t there an element of risk in your obedience in following me? Peter asked me to bid him to come to me across the water and I did. Wasn’t this a guarantee that he would be safe? Yet he still had to get out of the boat. Casino gambling is a negative counterpart to obedient faith and a misapplication of belief. Peter was eager to volunteer to take a risk. I want my people to follow the same example that they may do exploits of faith by their obedience. 

Do you read about miracles of healing in the Bible? How many do you see in practice? If there are not many this creates tension between your theology and your experience. Tension is uncomfortable and begs to be resolved. Yet I urge you not to change your theology to make it conform to your experience. Some have done so and claim I no longer heal. This resolves the tension, but it leaves you persuaded and confirmed in your error. It is better to leave it unresolved than to be wrong. Then you can keep seeking and searching and following me until the tension is resolved in favor of the truth of my word. Some saw my promises afar off and believed and trusted me even though they did not see them realized in their lifetimes, dying in faith. I was pleased with them for standing firm to the end. Blessed are those who endure to see my promises manifested in their lifetimes. 

You are aware that your brain has a left and a right hemisphere, and that the left side is more oriented toward the rigorous structure of analytical thought while the right side is more artistic. Each person tends to have greater ability in one side than the other. Does your culture overall regard analytical thought as more important than artistic expression? Are dancers more willing to see value in engineering and accounting than vice-versa? Yet it was I who made both sides of the brain and want both to be submitted to me and employed for my glory. Let those who value reason and analysis also value spontaneity and creativity. 

It’s Mother’s Day (May 12, 2013). Thank You for the privilege of being a mom, Lord. What a gift my children are. I learn so much from them. I learn so much about Your heart toward me as I love them and learn to parent them out of the abundance that is mine in You. Thank You that I get to be a mom. I love You so much, Lord. You are so good. And so faithful. You have brought such healing to my life. Thank You for mending my broken heart (referring to the 4 miscarriages I had after I had my 2 sons). Thank You for the gift of life, hope and love.