Dale Cresap's blog

Have you ever heard of all men referred to as gentlemen, as in the phrase, ladies and gentlemen? This is a polite form of address, but have you found that not all men are gentle? Is gentleness even admired as a masculine trait? It should be at least in the sense of not being threatening to women and children. How much beyond that? Is your concept of masculinity formed by your culture or by universal enduring principles? Can you conceive of a masculinity that is gentle and at the same time strong, courageous, and fearless? If you are a man, can you practice it?

Do you hold on to me for all you are worth? Do you know that I am the source of your life and cling to me as tightly as you can? Do you evaluate the success of your spiritual life by the intensity with which you do this? Can you imagine letting go? What do you think would happen? Do you know that I hold you more tightly than you hold on to me? Will you ever know that you are held until you quit grasping and clutching? Is there a way you can approach this question without diminishing your own commitment?

Do you lead a meaningful life? Is there any deeper human longing than a life that makes sense, that gives value to suffering, that attaches your efforts to something transcendent and enduring? Where will you find meaning? Is this something that you can inherit from your family or your church? Can it be real if it doesn’t fit with your own lived experience? Have you ever had new experiences that were too big to incorporate into your existing structure of meaning? Did this present as a crisis of meaning? Did you see this in a positive or negative light?

Do you ever feel like you are the only one on your faith journey? In a sense you are, for every person has a unique path. Yet I will provide you with the traveling companions you need. How many do you need? Do you find it reassuring to be in a large crowd, to be marching with a multitude? There is comfort in sheer numbers, but you know that truth is not determined by the majority, and strait and narrow is the way that leads to life, and few there be that find it. If you know that you are on the right path for you, it may be necessary for you to walk it alone at times.

Do you base your life on theological absolutes? Do you find that this makes it easier or harder to find common ground with others? Consider me. Do you think that my doctrinal positions were correct? Have you noticed how many times I reached out to, and even commended, those who were outside of my own faith? There was a Centurion, a Samaritan woman at the well, and I told a story about a good Samaritan, among others. Doctrinal differences did not prevent me from connecting with, and sharing my message of life with anyone. You could make that one of your theological absolutes. 

Do you see me as divine? This is an essential doctrine of your faith. Do you also see me as human? Isn’t this as much a doctrine of your faith as my divinity? Do you find it easier to think of me as divine than as both divine and human? How could I be both at once? The early church went through a long struggle to arrive at this position, and it isn’t easy to hold. If you are already convinced of my divinity, in what ways do you see me expressing my humanity? Since you don’t question your own humanity, do you think that you are in a position to follow me in my own expressions?

Do you want to get what you want? This question seems simplistic and obvious. Who would want otherwise? Yet do you know people who always get what they want? The term for this is spoiled, and it can apply to adults just as much as to children. Sometimes not getting what you want can be better for you. It decentralizes your selfishness and provides opportunities to look beyond your own interests. Do you admire people who are unselfish more than those who are selfish? Do you want to be one? What price are you willing to pay?

Do you understand the nature of prayer? You have promises that you can have anything that you ask for. If you ask for something and don’t get it, do you assume that the promise is false, or that your faith is insufficient? These are not the only possibilities. These promises do not grant you omniscience and omnipotence. Do you see these promises as promoting you above me that I may do your bidding? The best way to think of prayer is that of children making requests of their father.

Do you live in a classless society? There are valid arguments to say that there is no such thing, and those who are in the upper regions are less likely to be aware of the degree of stratification and the struggles of those on the lower rungs. Are you kind to the least of these? Do you think of them only as those in prison, or sick, or naked, hungry, and thirsty? You could expand your definition to include the marginally employed. If you are not one of these, do you seek out real connections with them? This goes beyond being courteous to them as they serve you.

Do you think of sins as acts of commission? Is it possible to sin by doing nothing? If so, these would be known as sins of omission. This concept implies that you have an inherent duty to those around you, and it is a sin to neglect that duty. If you follow a faith based on love, and the two primary commandments are to love God and your neighbor, then having a duty to your neighbor shouldn’t come as a surprise. What do you owe to the next person you encounter even if you have no prior association with them? You don’t owe them money.