Dale Cresap's blog

Children need adult supervision and so this phrase has been commonplace for a long time. More recently the same phrase has been used with comic effect regarding adults who themselves need adult supervision. This is not normally intended as a compliment. Is it true? Is it true for you? The premise that it is not suggests that a person can be complete in themselves, independent and autonomous. Do you know anyone who thrives and grows in such conditions? Do you know that you cannot provide the total guidance that you need for your own life?

Do you have a job? Did it require an application and an interview? Do you perform a ministry? Did you have to fill out a job application for that or did it fall in your lap? Perhaps you were requested to do it. There are many more ways to enter my service than there are to get a job in the world of commerce. The concept of destiny does not appear in the commercial world, but it is essential in the Kingdom of God. Do you live with a sense of destiny? Are you aware that the work you do for me is uniquely assigned to you whether you got the assignment by conventional means or not?

Do you have strong feelings about public policy? Do you think the world would be a better place if you ran it? Be careful. Every tyrant thought the same thing. You have respect for the power of fire and of electricity and of machinery and moving parts, knowing that they can be harmful as well as beneficial. Are you an expert in the safe operation of these things? Do you have the same respect for political power, or power over others? This is an even greater peril and subject to even more abuse. You should hesitate to think that you would do a better job than those currently in power.

Do you understand the importance of empathy? Have you ever heard the enraged story of an angry person and become furious yourself as a result? Did you think of this as empathy? Was it beneficial for the person telling the story? You can empathize with an angry person but you don’t do it by becoming angry yourself. You don’t minister to a furious person by validating their fury, but you can empathize with their pain. A soft answer turns away wrath. Have you applied this principle toward those who are directing anger at you?

Have you had people share with you their stories of great heartache and loss? How do you respond? One approach is to share your own story as an expression of empathy, but be very careful in how you go about this. What is your motive in sharing? Is it to identify with the other person in the solidarity of suffering or is it to tell a better story and shift the focus to your own pain? This leads to an escalating game of ‘Can You Top This?’. There are times to be meek and humble and remain silent about your own pain, or to present it in such a way that it gives life and comfort to others.

Have you ever gone on a trip with someone else driving? You may not have known where you were, but were you really lost if the person steering knew where they were going? This effect is even more pronounced for air travel or for a ship at sea. Can you see the parallel to your spiritual journey through life? You do not know what tomorrow will bring, or even today. Do you find it reassuring to know that the one who is ‘steering your ship’ knows the right course? I know what dangers lie ahead. I know what has to be done now to prepare for what will come.

Do you tend to categorize the people you meet? In a negative sense this is called stereotyping, but who can resist the temptation to simplify the task of matching people with identities? For some there are obvious visual indications, but do you like having an identity assigned to you based on your appearance? Is it an improvement to take a more detailed and complex view that results in more categories? What about moving in another direction and further simplifying the task? If you could reduce the process to a single category to include everyone what would it be? How about child of God?

Do you appreciate your freedom? What do you use it for? Someone without freedom has no agency for action, but one who has it must decide how to apply it. You can use your freedom for the benefit of yourself and others, or you can do things that are destructive to yourself and others. You could spend all your effort indulging yourself and being indifferent to others. Is it worse to have no freedom to act or to use your freedom to act badly? It was I who gave you a free will, so liberty is inherent in your being. Did I take a risk in doing this?

Do you see a difference between friends and lovers? There is a strong distinction between these things in popular culture. Do you consider lovers to be more intimate than friends? But I said greater love had no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. In this statement I describe the magnitude of intensity that is available to those who love as friends. So what is the difference? Romantic love is possessive and exclusive. Friendship love is non-possessive. Can there be confusion in romantic love about whether they want what is best for themselves or best for their partner?

Have you ever had an intense desire for something with the expectation that it would fulfill your life? Have you ever obtained anything that you desired so greatly? Did it have the effect you expected or were you disappointed that it was less than you thought it would be? What lesson did you learn from this? Did you project your great expectations onto something else? Do you have such expectations now? Or did you scale back your expectations having learned that nothing in this world provides ultimate satisfaction?