A Date With The Lord by Irina Jang

I am a Korean by blood but was born and grew up in Soviet Russia. So Russian is my native language. Now I am a citizen of South Korea but not perfect in speaking Korean. I was born again with the help of a Bible in English and information on Christianity which I found on the Internet in English. Below is my first two-way journaling with Jesus, as I went on my first date with Him.

Me: I want to ask, “Lord, do you love me? How do you love me? How do you see me?”

Vision: I imagine myself as a 7-8 years old girl, with short hairstyle that I always hated (like a square pot). I’m wearing a very simple sleeveless cocoa color cotton dress. I look very dull in my vision. Then I’m trying to imagine myself in more pretty and colorful dresses but cannot recall any from my childhood. I try to put on my daughter’s flowery silk dress, which I made for her long time ago, but it looks too fancy on me and doesn’t match with my square-pot hairstyle… So I decide to meet Jesus in my dull cocoa dress…

Jesus is sitting on the grass on a green hill and watching the Sea of Galilee. It is bright late morning and everything looks so fresh and peaceful. I am approaching Him… I pick some poppies for Him… I come to Jesus and give flowers. I feel shy. I don’t look up…Just I see His snow-white robe. He takes flowers and I feel that He smiles. He says nothing, he is waiting…. I ask, “….L-l-lord, d-d-do you l-l-love m-me?”

He gently takes my hand and suggests sitting by Him on the grass. I feel that He is happy.
I’m waiting that He says, “Of course, I love you!” But instead,... He says, “Look around. Isn’t it beautiful? Our Father God created all these beauties!....... And….. you are also His beauty. He created this world with great love. He put into this world love immeasurably.
I know that you worry that you look so dull. You think that people don’t like you and hate to be with you because you are very boring. Forget it! I see you like a gentle pretty field flower that makes happy any passer-by. I love you as you are. Remember, God created you with great amount of love. It is in you. Be yourself. Don’t torture yourself trying to change yourself according to these world standards. Don’t pay very careful attention to human-made thing. Look and recognize the true work of God that is a lot. Discern natural from artificial. You know, garden flowers cultivated by people are very colorful and beautiful to human eyes. But for God, a simple field flower like these poppies is more precious. Relax and enjoy what you are! Don’t worry about fancy lives of others. I love you, God our Father Almighty loves you! Smile now. How do you feel?