On June 14, my Father died. Mourning is a new experience for me. Even when my mother passed, I didn’t seem to feel as I did when my Dad passed. My father’s passing has been difficult. For the last 10 years, I’ve had the privilege of spending time with him in his retirement home.
William Waysl Dupley Sept 3, 1925-June 14, 2025
We often went over to the American house restaurant to have something to drink and pierogies together. As he has grown older, we could no longer do that, and for the last year, he hasn’t been able to speak. So, I talked to him, shaved him, and read the paper to him.
I’ve experienced a lot of feelings regarding his death, but I thought I would share some of them with you in this blog and some solutions that I felt the Lord has given to me to deal with grief.
Grief is normal
When someone dies, it’s normal to experience grief. I did not really understand what that meant. For the last 30 days, I have felt the following things.
- I can’t sleep, I am very tired, and I wake up at night
- I felt emotionally exhausted
- I feel stressed, I have lost control of my responses and have little patience for the requests of others,
- I do not feel right, I am sad, and I feel tears coming to my eyes occasionally
- I felt very low
- I felt angry and upset.
- I have trouble remembering things
- I felt very brain-dead
- I have slept very poorly. One night I was very tired and very uptight, and I felt sick as a result. There was a tightness in my chest and knots in my stomach because I had to do something the next day that normally wouldn't have been so intimidating and wouldn’t have created these feelings.
- I went for a drive along the Niagara Falls Parkway to Niagara Falls, and I felt tears coming to my eyes. My father had driven my family down this road many times when he was alive, and I started to reminisce about it.
Although I’ve experienced most of these feelings in the past, having them all happen at once within a three-week period was overwhelming.
It is my practice to discuss with the Lord how I feel and what to do about it when I am experiencing things I don’t understand.
Here are some of the things I felt He said to me about how to deal with my feelings of grief
The Lord’s response
- Son, let yourself mourn. Rest now. Let yourself mourn. Allow yourself to cry; don’t be stoic, son. It is part of the process. Help others who are finding it difficult. Be at peace, rest and do the things want to do.
- Son, mourning will come; give it time to happen
- Son, the loss of your father is taking an emotional toll on you. Remember the good times
- Son, you are reacting like a man who has lost his Father. Every demand seems like a lot. Step away when you feel like it's too much; turn to me. There may be opportunities over the next few days to lose it. When you feel like you're about to get mad and overreact, I'll help you.
- Son, you will recover from this season of low feelings. It will pass; it's a natural part of the grieving process. Stay home this weekend. Don’t cram too many things into the next few days
- Son, for the next two days, withdraw from people when you feel overwhelmed or angry. As I said, there will be many opportunities to feel that way. Always be ready to withdraw from the situation and retreat to your secret place. He who dwells in the secret place lives in the shadow of the Almighty.
- Son, your Father has graduated to heaven.
Activities that have helped me get over the grief
- I went and played music in a local jam band. I felt sadness on my face as I went, and I wondered if it would ever leave. But after playing music with my friends, I felt much better. I felt joy start to come back to my face
- Sue and I went and painted Kids' faces at Mariposa, went camping and visited an artisan festival. All of these have helped me regain my joy.
- I made 40 jars of pickles. My Grandchildren love to eat these.
- Visiting God’s creation, the joy of little ones, enjoying other creative endeavours, and serving others have helped me regain my joy.
The mourning is leaving, and joy is manifesting. The Bible said this would happen.
Ps 30:5 Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
Psalm 30:11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
Close
Grief is normal. Even Jesus wept when Lazarus died. We need to allow ourselves to grief. Please do not deny it. It is difficult to do when someone dies, there are so many people you need to talk to and be thankful that they came when you really want to withdraw and be quiet. However, afterwards, you need to allow yourself to weep and remember, and joy will come in the morning.
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