Gender roles in the home

Question sent with a request I blog out an answer: I would love to know more about content along the lines of gender (husband, wife) - I am specifically referring to the roles, freedoms, limitations and relationship structures that exist for males and females in the home.  The Western Church culture seems to have a view on gender set in stone that seems to be more along the lines of unredeemed humanity, past cultural context and hierarchical structure above Spirit-led relationships. I would love to know about a kingdom view rather than a church or religious view. Thank you so much! I’m looking forward to learning more about the topic.

How our home operates

I would like to answer this by sharing how gender roles work in my home and perhaps generalize a few principles we operate from.

1. Patti and I are both Spirit-filled and seeking to be led by the same Holy Spirit, so His wisdom and anointing flow through each of us. Based on this, we don’t make any major decisions if both our hearts are not in full agreement. Decisions made this way are extremely fruitful. We don’t pressure one another’s hearts.
2. We each have unique gifts and personalities, which greatly complement one another. We have identified each other's strengths and limitations and honor both. We use our strengths to serve one another, and we honor our spouse’s strengths and limitations as they serve us. I push out the limits; Patti ensures we stay safe. I can be abrasive, but Patti reminds me to be kind and loving.
3. We don’t demand that our spouse be like us. We honor and celebrate our differences. Each personality is fine. Each is a gift. Patti's mind is extremely sharp. Her heart is extremely intuitive. These are both unparalleled gifts I draw upon and she freely provides her wisdom and insights to me. This truly helps me spring forward and stay on the right path.
4. We speak only words that edify in the need of the moment. If either of us gets upset, we hold our peace until we have retreated into the presence of God and listened to His kind and healing words. Then we speak these healing words to one another Makes for a harmonious home.
5. Patti and I both know how to hear God’s voice, and we lean on His wisdom continually. We take any negative judgments or ungodly beliefs to Him, and allow Him to speak truth to our hearts, and grant divine pictures to our minds. Thus, we don’t live in past hurts. We look for and see and call out the best in one another.
6. We never try to dominate or punish one another, as that is all viewed as demonic. We never take the accusative or adversarial stance against one another as that too is demonic.
7. Our marriage is governed by the Golden Rule. We treat each other like we want to be treated in every situation. We speak the words we would like to hear spoken to us. We rejoice in the success of the other as though it were our own. We respond to the other’s failings as we want to be responded to when we fail. We treat each other as though we were the most important people in our lives, because we are.

Two-way Journaling Application

Hearing God's voice is as simple as: 1) quieting myself down (Ps. 62:5), 2) beholding Jesus at my right hand (Acts 2:25), 3) asking for His input and tuning in to flowing thoughts and flowing pictures (Jn. 7:37-39), and 4) journaling out His words and visions (Rev. 1:9-11). These are then tested and they must line up with Scripture (Ps. 1:2) and be affirmed in the hearts of my spiritual advisors (2 Cor. 13:1).

• Lord, what would you speak to me about the way I treat and respond to the people in my home.