Mark, I just wanted to share my journaling with Jesus about my anger. I can truly testify that the black cloud that seemed to be over me, where I just couldn’t stand everyone and everything, is GONE. IT IS GONE!!!!!!
The day of deliverance (5/4/2025)
Me - Oh Lord, I am so thankful for the PEACE that now permeates this house. (My troublesome roommate finally moved out.) What a blessing! I thank you and I praise you. Yeshua, would You please sit with me? I long to be with You and enjoy Your company.
I see us sitting at a table playing cards.
Me - Oh, Holy Spirit, please open the eyes and ears of my heart that I might hear You speak to me on this night. …… What cards are we playing, Lord?
Jesus - Go Fish.
Me - Seems appropriate.
Jesus - It is.
We count down from 8. Do you have a 7? 6? 5? 4? 3? 2? 1? I lay down two 1’s. Jesus lays down 4 aces. He wins.
Me - What are You teaching me, Lord?
Jesus - Patience. It takes a lot of patience to fish. And you don’t always catch them. Does that make you angry?
Me – No, not at all. Is it annoying? Yes, lol. But it doesn’t make me angry.
Jesus - I’m going to tell you a secret: you can be free from your anger.
Me - I would love for that to happen, Lord. I just don’t know how to do it, how to make it happen.
Jesus - Do you trust Me?
Me - Yes, Lord.
Jesus - Then I want you to do something for Me.
Me - What?
Jesus - Fall upon your knees.
Me - Ok. Here I am. On my knees.
Jesus - Cast out Beelzebub. Have faith.
So I prayed. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but there were lots of tears. I remember saying that I stand on the promises of God and that I am His child, and I cast Beelzebub out. I said, Thank You, Jesus, for loving me and protecting me and guiding me.
Jesus - You can get up now.
I am kneeling next to my bed. I see Jesus beside me.
Me - I am free, Lord. I stand on the promises of God. I am free. For if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed.
Lord, please fill me up to overflowing with Your peace, peace that surpasses all understanding - peace that only You can give, peace that cannot be taken from me. I am Yours, and You are mine. Without You, I can do nothing. Help me, Lord, please, to keep my eyes fixed on You and not this world. Change the pictures of my mind from evil, death, and destruction to love, joy, patience, and peace.
Jesus - I love you, Megan. You did good today. Do you feel better?
Me - Yes. I feel peace, peace in this place where you have set me down.
Jesus - Keep coming to Me. I am your provider, and I meet all of your needs. Come to Me and I will give you rest, rest for your soul, rest for your body, and rest for your mind. I paid the ultimate price so we could be together. It brings Me joy to watch you grow. But you cannot do it apart from Me. So do not forsake coming to Me. I AM your all in all.
Me - You are my all in all, Jesus, name above all names. Thank You. Thank You.
Jesus - Go forth in peace.
I see Jesus hug me.
Jesus - I love you, Megan. You are my special treasure. You bless me. Yes, believe it.
Me - Thank You, Jesus.
Jesus - You are welcome. Now get some rest.
Me - I will.
First day after deliverance – Change your focus. Keep your eyes on Me. (5/5/2025)
He said: Keep your eyes on Me, always. What you focus on, you will become. If you focus on Me, you will see good things. If you focus on the world, you will see evil things. Change your focus. You have been looking at the world for too long, and it has damaged your soul and your mind. (Of note - I work in law enforcement, so my days are filled with nothing good, almost all day long.)
Me - I admit it, Lord. I confess my sin of focusing on the world and not You. Please forgive me and help me to make the change. He said He would help me and to keep coming to Him.
Second day after deliverance - Come to Me with every breath. (5/6/2025)
Me - Oh Jesus, my Jesus, I am here, Lord.
I see Jesus sitting on a stone wall.
Me - Oh, Holy Spirit, I invite You to my prayer time. Please give me eyes to see and ears to hear, my Lord and Savior, Messiah, Yeshua. I thank You for the work You do in my life!
Jesus - Hi Megan.
Me - Hello Lord.
Jesus - Come sit with Me (he pats the wall).
I jump up and sit on the wall with Him.
Jesus - I want to ask you something.
Me - Ok, Lord.
Jesus - Do you love Me?
Me – Yes, I do.
Jesus - Do you love Me?
Me - Yes, Lord. I do.
Jesus - Then come to Me, always, with every breath. I have so much to show you. You can do it. I will help you.
Me - Ok, Lord. I want to.
Jesus - Good. How are you doing?
Me - Better, Lord. I was not angry on the drive home today, except for a couple of instances of yelling at people. But it was better than it had been going lately. I thank You for that.
Jesus - You are welcome.
Me - Oh Lord, please protect this prayer time from attacks from the enemy. I need you, Yeshua.
Jesus - You have Me. Focus on Me, Me alone.
Me - I see you're still on the wall. I am here, Lord. Please speak with me.
Jesus - I am here, too, always here.
I asked Him about the job I put in for. I heard I didn’t get it.
Me - Lord, You are my Wonderful Counselor. Thank You that we are able to meet like this, so that I can speak to You and get to know You. It’s more wonderful than I can imagine. You fill me up!
Jesus - I will always fill you up. You are my special treasure, and I love you. Keep coming to Me so you can be transformed in My presence.
Me - Yes, Lord. I will.
Jesus - Ask Me about your foot. (I had ankle surgery for two torn tendons in October, and three weeks ago the doc went back in to take out some painful sutures.)
Me - Ok. Umm. Will this CRPS [Complex Regional Pain Syndrome] resolve itself?
Jesus - It will.
Me – Excellent, because it really does hurt.
Jesus - I know it does. Have patience.
Me - Why do I get the feeling that that is the theme of my life lately?
Jesus - Because it is. You need to learn it. You need to slow down. You go too fast.
Me - I know I do. I know it’s not good...
Jesus - I love you more than you know, Megan. That is why I say come to Me. Let Me fill you in. Read My word. Absorb it. That will make you whole. Nothing on earth will, not even Justin (my boyfriend).
Me - I know, Lord. Only You can do that. Thank you, Jesus, for Your words of life.
I see Jesus hug me.
We say our good nights.
Reflections
From Mark: Megan, well, this is awesome journaling. Looks like you went through deliverance and had a demon of anger removed, and are NOW being instructed to fill your insides with His light, so the darkness is not drawn back in. It looks like you are obeying. He is saying this is a process. Learning to keep your eyes fixed on Him will be a process. As you stick with it, healing and strength will continue to grow within you. I encourage you to focus intently on this new lifestyle so you remain filled with His light, love, joy, and peace. To help speed up the process, register here for the free worldwide video event, "Prayers That Heal the Heart," and also check out this blog of my close friend, Pastor Don, who will personally coach you through these seven prayers.
From Megan: I say He is INCREDIBLY faithful. The very first time I put your 4 Keys into practice, I saw Jesus by the side of the water, and He picked up a tiny fish. His message was one of love, that He loves the tiny one just as much as everyone else (I have struggled with self-worth my entire life). And not long after that, He spoke to me about having patience. I have told Him that I want to get better, in all areas of my life; and I do believe that if I continue on this journaling journey with Him, that it WILL happen. And I thank YOU, Mark, for your gift of the 4 Keys. It’s just amazing!!
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