Prepared for My Husband’s Death by Hearing God’s Voice – by Kris Schonewolf

After being raised in a cult (Christian Science) I finally met my Savior and best Friend Jesus at age 38. Ten years later, I stepped into my first pastorate after having completed seminary and my denomination's requirements.  I was introduced early in my journey to Christians who could "hear from God" - these wonderfully gifted and seemingly unique individuals.  I longed to hear God's voice, but thought it was just for these super-special super-spiritual Christians, but certainly not for me. I would seek out these opportunities to interact with prophets and get a word from the Lord whenever I could. 

Toward the end of 2019, I went to my first Global Awakening conference, and started taking classes in January. I was making all kinds of connections with people who could hear God's voice.  One day on a zoom call in May 2020 in which two of my friends were offering to help a few of us hear better from God, Lauren kept talking about "2-way journaling."  In my whole adult life, every time I heard the word "journal" I would roll my eyes and immediately push back.  I hated every journaling assignment in college and seminary, even though I secretly found them helpful. 

Well, Lauren just wouldn't let it go.  She put her face up to the computer screen and told me I HAD to try this "2-way journaling," and she stuck her journal up to the camera and said, "See, it says 'Me' and then it says 'Jesus' and you write down what you hear."  She was so insistent, and I was so hungry to hear from God that I reluctantly agreed to try it.

It was awkward and strained in the beginning, and when I would try to vision, my imagination would go crazy and I would see all kinds of bizarre stuff. But I didn't quit and it got better and more natural each day.  One day through my journal, Jesus told me to teach a class called "Tuning in to the Voice of God."  I said, "OK, what book should I use?"  I mean, come on! There are hundreds of books on hearing the voice of God. I heard Jesus say, "Virkler."  I went online and found the 4 Keys book.  Then I vaguely remembered that in my first class with Global, we were given an audio lesson on hearing God's voice, and sure enough - it was Mark Virkler!  

Fast forward to December 1, and I've now taught this method to over 100 people already, including to many women in prison.  But December 1, my husband, Mike, age 63, suddenly passed into Jesus' arms completely unexpectedly.  As I looked over my journal entries leading up to his death, I could see how Jesus had been preparing me.  Then as I journaled after his death, I could see and feel the sweet presence of Jesus with His reassurance that He is now my husband.  I wanted to share a few parts of these entries: 

11/25

Jesus: I have something else for you.

Me: What is it?

Jesus: It’s yet to be revealed, but I don’t want you to be surprised when things change. Change is hard but will be for the best.

Me: How should I prepare?

Jesus: Let’s dance. There are some new steps to learn but I am the best teacher. Do you trust Me?

Me: Implicitly!

11/26 (Thanksgiving)

Me: What is on Your heart today, Lord?

Jesus: You are on My heart. You always are. I have something for you. Stay tuned. Stay close. Don’t be surprised by what I’m doing. You will see signs so you will know it is Me. Watch for sign posts - like Habakkuk. He took his post and watched for what I would say.

11/30

In my vision, I see a bright light and then Jesus bursts forth out of the light, laughing, still glowing around the edges. He takes my hand and we skip away. It’s dark.

Me: Why is it dark?

Jesus: Sometimes it will feel dark, but I’m always right here.

Me: Where are we going?

Jesus (the scene changes and it opens into a woods, and we are walking together on a new path.)

12/1  

Mike passes into glory.

12/4

Me: Where would You like to meet today?

(We are on a boat, sailing…maybe the Sea of Galilee. I’m leaning up against Jesus, feeling completely held and supported.)

Me: What is on Your mind? Why are we on the sea?

Jesus: It’s far from the shore – away from the familiar. You’re crossing the sea to a new chapter of your life. But do you see how close I am?

Me: You couldn’t get any closer.

Jesus: In a new land things will seem strange and unfamiliar. You will feel out of place – wondering where you belong. But the longer you dwell in the new land the more you will feel at home. I have so much more for you.

Me: What would You like to tell me about this new chapter?

Jesus: Come close. Just feel My love each day. You don’t need to know anything right now but My love. Receive daily manna. You only need one day’s worth and the next day there is fresh manna. 

Me: I would love to see a vision or dream where I can see Mike in heaven. Do you have something to share about Mike in heaven?

Jesus: It’s glorious here. No regrets. Only joy. I told him I’m going to take care of you and that I will be your husband. He was relieved. 

12/6

Me: I know You are my provider. I will not fret but will trust You as I navigate these upcoming decisions. What would You like to say to me at this time?

Jesus: Rest, My child. This is not for today. As I told you, you will receive daily manna. I am the Great Provider and I don’t provide just resources, but opportunities. Your opportunities will be endless as you serve Me. You will never suffer lack in resources or in opportunities.

Me: How will I know the way to go?

Jesus: Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”  Isa. 30:21  (I didn’t hear the verse word for word, but pretty close.)    Do you trust Me?

Me: Implicitly.

Jesus: Rest, My child. It is enough for today.

I'll end on a comedic note.  As a pastor, I have led and facilitated many grief groups, so I feel like I know a little bit about grief. So the other day I asked Jesus, 

Me: Is there anything about grief I need to know but don't know?

Jesus: You don't know everything! (Then after lovingly laughing at me, He proceeded to tell me what grief really looks like.)

I know what it was like to live as a Christian always wanting to hear God, and I never want to go back. Being your own best personal prophet is a reality that I want everyone to know! Thank you, Dr. Mark, for your obedience to Jesus and Holy Spirit and releasing this truth all over the planet.   

Rev. Kris Schonewolf