Are you favorably disposed toward those who are kind to you? You should be. If someone is generous to you, especially if it is their initiative toward you as a stranger, doesn’t it make you want to return the favor? If you later find out that they have some character flaw, does it make you less likely to criticize and judge them? This job is usually adequately staffed by others. Can you extend this to your relationship with me?
Have you ever felt alone? Have you ever had a problem or been in a situation and felt that you were the only one with this affliction? Did this make it difficult to discuss with others? Has the unbearable pain of this caused you to push ahead and find a confidant? Were you glad you did? It is likely that you found someone facing the same struggle but even if you didn’t, you may still have found a sympathetic audience. The great struggles of humanity are not unique to you. Do you confess your faults to one another that you may be healed? It is restorative to know that you are not alone.
Do you understand the importance of empathy? Without it you cannot relate to the problems of other people. This can make you alienated, cold, distant, and aloof. Yet if you do relate to the problems of other people, you can take on their sorrows and assume a burden that will consume you. How invested should you be in the problems of other people? Don’t be eager to pick up burdens that are not yours, for they will wear you out without a beneficial effect.
Do most of your friends go to your church? This is a logical place to find connection with like-minded people that you associate with regularly. Have you ever changed churches? How many of your friendships did you maintain with the people from your old church? This is typically few even if you haven’t changed doctrinal positions to oppose them. So are your church friendships based on direct personal connection or belonging to the same tribe? People change churches for many reasons, some valid and some not.
The Bible teaches you to endure hardness as a good solider. Soldiers are known for focus, discipline and intense singleness of purpose. The same Bible says that the peacemakers are blessed since they are the children of God. Do you think of peacemaking as a timid and passive activity? That it is enough to not give offense and to have no other effect? That isn’t making anything. The term peacemaking implies intentional effort and results. Can you think of a way to bring to peacemaking the same focus, discipline, and intense singleness of purpose that soldiers bring to waging war?
You are familiar with the passage of scripture that assures you that my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Do you find this comforting? Have you found it to be true? For you have direct observation and historical knowledge of those who have made great sacrifices for the faith. Perhaps you have yourself. If these were strenuous and demanding do you find that hard to reconcile with my promise of easy and light? Can you bear a heavier load if you know the reason for it, and that it contributes to the ultimate plan of eternity? On the other hand, who can bear a meaningless life?
I tell you to confess your faults to one another. Is this an activity you would prefer to avoid? Have you ever actually done it? What effect did it have? Did the action make you feel vulnerable and exposed? Hopefully you found someone who didn’t turn it into shame. Did you also feel the release of a burden? Some things are too heavy for you to bear, and this would include your own secrets. The power of your secret shame will be broken as you share it with someone else, and this puts you in a position to relieve their burden too. Does confession sound too legalistic and punitive to you?
Do you understand the need for patience? If you need to have a crucial conversation with someone, it may be a matter of great importance to you, but if the timing isn’t right, your words will have no effect. If the other person is tired or angry or distracted it doesn’t matter how much it means to you to hold the conversation, for they are not in a receptive frame of mind. The more important it is to you, the more it matters that they be in a frame of mind to hear your concerns. I know this isn’t easy. I spend a lot of time waiting for you to be receptive to what I want to say to you.
My word tells you to confess your faults to one another. It doesn’t say that you have to confess your faults to everyone. Can you be selective in whom you choose to confide in? You know that some people will use anything you say against you, or they cannot be trusted to hold a confidence, and you have a good guess as to who these people are. You also know loving people who you can trust to be oriented toward redemptive purpose, who will be a part of the solution rather than part of the problem.
What effects would you expect to see in the life of someone who responds to the gospel message? That they would affirm the truth claims of the Bible? So is the most fervent believer the staunchest defender of these claims? Can this happen apart from a changed life? Would you be more persuaded by someone becoming a better citizen, more loving, more thoughtful and considerate, and generous, not only toward fellow believers, but toward all humanity? Which of these did I place more emphasis on in the Bible? Which do you find more admirable in the people you meet?
