Today I wanted to share with you the Twelve Strategies of Compassionate Communication from Andrew Newberg’s book Words Can Change Your Brain. Charted below for simplicity.
Before you encounter the person…
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Newberg |
Personalized by Mark Virkler |
Related to 4 Keys |
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1 |
Relax |
I become still, smile, laugh, yawn, stretch, relax every muscle, breathe deeply, pray in tongues (Ps. 46:10). |
Key #1 Stillness |
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2 |
Stay present |
I enter His presence with thanksgiving and praise (Ps. 100:4). |
Key #1 Stillness |
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3 |
Cultivate inner silence |
I still my thoughts – by seeing Jesus at my right hand and fixing my attention on Him (Acts 2:25; Ps. 16:8). |
Key #2 Vision |
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4 |
Increase positivity |
Thank You, Jesus, that You are here with me, guiding, anointing protecting, speaking, and granting wisdom. |
Key #2 Vision |
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5 |
Reflect on your deepest values |
Lord, what would You speak in this situation? Then honor His voice and vision (flowing thoughts and pictures). |
Key #3 Flow |
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6 |
Access a pleasant memory |
Lord, what is a story You would remind me of that would connect me with this person and with the truths You desire to release in this upcoming conversation? |
Key #3 Flow |
Once you are together with the person…
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Newberg |
Personalized by Mark Virkler |
Related to 4 Keys |
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1 |
Observe nonverbal cues |
Jesus, what do You want me to note from their nonverbal cues? Then tune to spontaneous flow. |
Key #4 Journaling/Speak |
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2 |
Express appreciation |
Jesus, what words of life would You have me speak to them about their accomplishments and hearts' hunger? |
Key #4 Journaling/Speak |
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3 |
Speak warmly |
Jesus, fill my tone of voice and countenance with Your compassion toward them (Eph. 4:29). |
Key #4 Journaling/Speak |
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4 |
Speak slowly |
I speak slowly, giving the Spirit time to illumine both my heart and their heart (Jas. 1:19). |
Key #4 Journaling/Speak |
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5 |
Speak briefly |
Pause continually so they can interject, resulting in a dialogue rather than a monologue. (Prov. 10:19). |
Key #4 Journaling/Speak |
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6 |
Listen deeply |
Listen to them and the Holy Spirit. Receive and speak ONLY what God is speaking (Jas. 1:19; Prov. 16:23). |
Key #4 Journaling/Speak |
Imitate Jesus as He perfectly MODELS communication skills
Observe how tenderly the Lord relates to you in journaling,
and express this same compassionate communication to others.
The Golden Rule - This ONE rule fulfills all rules
“Treat people the same way you want them to treat you.” (Matt. 7:12)
Two-Way Journaling Concerning Communication Skills
Excellent communication skills help you build and maintain relationships, which in turn, help you succeed. Ask the Lord to reveal how well you are fulfilling each of the truths below. Journal out what He speaks. I recommend you spend one journaling session where you let the Lord tell you how well you are applying the rules below to a particular individual. So to cover seven of your closest acquaintances, you would be doing seven journaling sessions. Cover your spouse, family, friends, business, and social acquaintances. A list of the above journaling questions can be downloaded here.
The rules for handling disagreements (How to Build a Winning Team – Virkler, Pages 35-38)
- Listen carefully to the position of the others and restate what they have said to let them know you have listened and to ensure you understand.
- Ask clarifying questions to understand what the true heart issue is.
- Listen to Jesus, asking specifically how He would have you build a bridge of mutual agreement.
- Pre-requisite to being listened to: three sincere compliments are needed before you offer a critique. The three compliments put you and them into a relational mode.
- State clearly what you are sensing from Jesus as the key points which are to be considered. (Don’t say, “This is what Jesus is speaking.”)
- Seek a win/win solution that accomplishes the heart's desires of each party.
- Choose unity rather than accepting stalemate and division.
Enhancing Communication Skills Series
Related Resources:
How to Be a Spirit-Led Communicator How to Be Emotionally Free! How to Hear God's Voice! Prayers That Heal the Heart
