Falling in love with me happens by accident. You cant choose it.

The only choice you can make is to be my friend. That requires lots and lots of
conversations with me, and then, quite by accident, you will fall in love with me.

Mark I want you to take care.

God what of?

Your heart.

Ok how do I do that?

You listen.

Ok.

You listen to me, not to man.

And how do I do that?

You focus your entire focus on listening to me. That becomes your abiding passion. To do so requires great belief. To actually believe that I exist, so strongly that your focus is listening to me, not men, requires much more faith than you realise.

It happens by accident. You think that it is a decision of principle, a choice. You think, as most do, that it is a decision to ‘live a godly life’. But I’m not talking about that.

If a man loves a woman, he doesn’t make a decision of principle to focus on what she thinks at the cost of what others think. It’s a not a decision, so much as a spontaneous, almost uncontrollable, unthinking preference for her thoughts over the thoughts of others.

As a man falls in love with a woman he finds himself tiring of the thoughts of those he once held in high regard, and now he just wants to know what she thinks. It happens by accident. That’s what love is like.

That’s what I’m looking for. Take care. Take care of your heart. Your heart has found itself, not by choice, not by some great spiritual choice, in love with me. You haven’t chosen this, you have accidentally arrived at this place by listening to me talk.

You used to ‘say’ you loved me. You certainly enjoyed the knowledge of what was true of a relationship with me. You certainly felt comforted by the sense of my presence. But you were far from ‘in love’ with me. Our relationship was like the relationship you have with a famous actress. You feel close to her, her beauty and the characters she plays warm you, but you don’t know her. You don’t know what she thinks. You never hear her actually say anything to you.

To fall in love you must first relate, back and forward, in conversation. It is in the hearing of the words of the woman that you realise you love her. It is the same with falling in love with me. It cannot be achieved by a choice to feel love for me. Or to be committed by choice to me. The falling in love happens by relating, back and forward, in conversation with me.

First friendship with me, friendship through back and forward conversation. Then, quite by accident, falling in love. That is what has happened to you.

“I have heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you.” JOB 42:5

You didn’t do it from any holy motive. You weren’t consciously being Godly. You were, as the religious say, ‘full of sin’. Which quite frankly, was low on my list of priorities.

I’m focused on you, not your failings.We’re working, you and I, on your sin, but later thanks. Right now I want to talk with, love with, walk with you. Contrary to what the religious want to be true, sin falls off as conversation with God increases. First you come to me, first you talk to me, first you learn to hear my voice, then we deal with sin.

Do you like that Mark? I thought you might. Although hopelessly lost in so many tendencies to act and think in harmful ways, first I want you to have access to the throne, to learn to listen to me, and THEN we will deal with, gently scrape and wipe away the sin.

I call it ‘the throne of Grace’, a throne which you can boldly approach. The enemy calls it the ‘throne of judgement’ a throne which he wants you to cower away from.

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” HEB 4:16 NIV

“So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.” HEB 4:16 MSSGE

Religion would have it the other way around. Religion wants you lost in a hopeless attempt to earn the right to hear my voice. Give it up Mark, you can’t do it. Religion wants you to think that first you should deal with the sin, then you will be able to hear more and more of my voice.

But my way is different. My way is for you to hear my voice more and more, and then, as you learn to speak with me in conversation, the sin falls away. Religion, the law, wants you to have to earn my love and the right to hear my voice through improved behaviour. I want you to hear my voice. Period. I’m not as interested in sin as you and the inventor of sin would have me be. I want you to hear my voice. Period. ONE of the results of hearing my voice is that sin begins to fall away.

This is the voice that created the world Mark. Not the voice of a God you have under your control. Not the voice of a God who wants you under my control. I want you under YOUR control. That happens, you gain control of you, as you listen to my voice. The voice of the Creator. The voice that did the creating. The voice that when you hear it, heals, cleans, washes, builds up, and changes. That voice.

So, back to the question. I told you to take care of your heart. You asked how. I said you take care of your heart by focusing your whole focus on listening to me. How does that happen? Here’s a riddle, a ‘simplicity’, a too-simple, but obvious truth.

You focus your whole focus on listening to me by, LISTENING TO ME. That’s all it takes. If you want to be totally focused on listening to me. Just listen to me. The more you hear me speak specifically, direct to you, the more you will find yourself actually, believe it not, falling in love with me. And as you find yourself in love with me, you will find that all you want is to hear my voice, and that the voice of others will hold less and less appeal for you.

It’s the only way to take care of your heart. The voice of others can do damage to your heart. My voice restores and rebuilds your heart. Of course you must listen to others, but when your preference, not by choice, but by uncontrolled infatuation and mind-altering, real, chemical love is for my words, then the words of others will have less and less ability to damage. Your heart will instead be strong and know what to do with the words that fall on it. Which words to cherish and value, which words to discard.

Take care of your heart Mark. Making a cold hard choice to listen to my voice rather than the voice of Man is difficult and hard to fulfil. Falling in love with me by accident, and then finding you tire of the voice of men, and as a result want only to hear my words, is the only way.

You fall in love with me by accident. All it takes is listening to my voice.
When you hear my voice, speaking direct to you in conversation, you fall, quite accidentally, in love with me. For that to happen you MUST hear me speak direct into your mind. It is the only way.

“Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it” ISAIAH 30:21

Mark Holloway 
The Freedom Diaries 
Available on our website for $16.95