I can’t exactly recall the reason I was feeling down on this particular night. Maybe it was because I hadn’t ministered to anyone in a while. At least not in the way I had become used too. In fact, the more I think about it the more I’m sure it was for that reason. But it doesn’t really matter because it’s not the point of this blog (although the topic of “boxes I’ve tried to shove ministry into over the course of my life” could fill a number of articles I’m sure).
I do remember that I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower when I happened to look up and see a vision. I saw a bar hovering above my head. It wasn’t too long, maybe a couple of feet. It was cylindrical and looked pretty sturdy like it was made from steel.
I stared at the image suspended in the air for a short time thinking about the instances God asked Ezekiel, “What do you see?” or “Do you see this?” I was wondering if this was just an exercise in seeing or if there was another point. But then my question was answered when I saw that the bar was labeled “expectations.”
It was then that I heard the Lord ask, “Who’s holding that bar for you?”
It’s so interesting how six little words can make such an impact. The air rushed out of me like a deflated balloon. I began to see what the encounter was all about. It wasn’t Him. God was not the one holding that bar over my head. He was not holding a list of unmet expectations. The answer to His question was none other than me. Allow me to unpack that just a bit.
Here are a few things I’ve come to understand about expectations:
1. Many of us have “bars” hanging over our heads held by many different people. The list can include parents, spouses, bosses, co-workers, friends, God, and/or others. We feel and believe we need to measure up.
2. There is something in us that strives and drives to meet these expectations by doing. We have an unquenchable desire to please those holding the “bar.” When we meet them we feel valued and when we don’t we feel worthless. As it happens, most of us caught in this cycle feel worthless the majority of the time. For many of us it’s not just a bar of expectations but it’s the source of our love, value and significance (life). It’s our source of Life.
3. It’s impossible to serve purely when we are caught in this cycle. Though it sounds good and well when we do things for those close to us, our actions are motivated by selfishness. Because we gain life by meeting expectations what we do for others is mostly about us and hardly about them.
4. Fear is prevalent. Because we get our value from measuring up, we live in constant fear that we won’t be able too. The highs we get when we meet expectations is short lived but the lows when we don’t last what can seem like forever.
5. Those we fear are those we will serve. We fear those holding the “bar” so we will serve them above all else. When it’s not God they are idols. When it is God the idol is religion (doing to obtain is religion).
But…most of the expectations we think are real aren’t.
I would go as far as to say that most of the people we see holding a “bar” over our heads aren’t doing anything of the sort. Many times the only expectations hovering over us are those fabricated by our adversary. They have power only to the extent that we believe them. So many times the only ones placing “bars” above our head are us. We are doing it to ourselves!
For example, what do we need to do in order to feel good about our relationship with God? Read our bible, devotions, church, street ministry, ministry in general, and the list goes on.
But what does God say?
“…do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)
“And He replied to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (intellect). This is the great (most important, principal) and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself…” (Matt 22:37-39)
God wants us to love! And many times the list we perceive our spouses, parents, friend, and etc. hold are completely fabricated as well. But we don’t know that because we don’t ask! We don’t ask because what we believe is our reality. We need a new reality!
But even if the expectations are legit and even if someone in our lives is actually holding a list over our heads and telling us to measure up we don’t have to play the game. The only power the “bar” has over us is the power we give it. To the extent we believe the “bar” holds our source of life is the extent to which it has power over us.
But the truth is that it has no power because it isn’t, and can never be, our source of life. Jesus is and His love is FREE! He is life! Want more peace and rest in your life? Tear down the fabricated expectations that have you striving for acceptance from idols and rest in the arms of the one you’ve who’s already accepted you.
Blessings,
Jesse and Kara Birkey
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Jesse and Kara Birkey are committed lovers of Jesus who seek to show others the extraordinary life of Jesus is available for everyone. They have authored two books, been featured in films and seek to serve the Lord in whatever ways they can. Follow their blog here.
Bring Jesse and Kara to your venue. Find more information here.
Life Resurrected, Extraordinary Miracles through Ordinary People has been endorsed by Sid Roth and Mark Virkler and is a collection of inspiring stories making it clear that the extraordinary life of Jesus is available to all who love Him. It’s also the testimony of Jesse’s life, the road he travelled bringing him into the arms of Jesus. Get the paperback here. Get the Kindle Version Here. View the trailer here.
Marriage What’s the Point? One couple finds meaning in a crazy mess is the story of their marriage—The tragedy and the restoration. They bear their hearts in an attempt to get others to bear theirs and finally receive the freedom they’ve longed for. Get the paperback here. Get the Kindle Version Here.
Jesse is also featured in the film DeadRaiser, a movie shining the spotlight on resurrection testimonies across the nation. Find more information here.
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