seeking what?

In my own two way journal yesterday, I was beating myself up about a time, four years ago, when Jesus was speaking to me in the night, every night, for a month. On the second last day of that month, He asked me to do something for Him that I did not believe I could do, and I said, "Please don't ask me to do that! I don't think I can do it!"

This was the situation: I had a friend whose three year old daughter was in intensive care after a very delicate surgery. I had been to pray for the little girl, and she seemed to have bounced back from death's door to looking toward going home in a few days. Jesus told me that, in the morning, I was to call my friend and say to her, "Before the day is out, your daughter will be pronounced dead by the doctors; do not accept what they are saying as a fact. Pray, and your daughter will be restored." When Jesus told me to do that, I immediately thought of how *I* would feel, if I receive a phone call like that--the fear that would run down my spine, and, of course, how would I feel about the person who told me this? I begged not to have to make that call.

In the morning, I remembered *nothing* about what Jesus had asked me to do. Until 3:30 p.m., when I received a phone call from my grown son, telling me that the little girl had had an aneurysm (that nobody knew she had) rupture. She was in surgery and it wasn't going well at all. I then immediately remembered what Jesus had asked me to do... and I got through to the mom and told her what Jesus has said. The little girl's heart stopped three times during that surgery... but the parents prayed, and she made a complete recovery.

I still blame myself for my own cowardice... but you what you said in this blog helped me enormously! I think Jesus has been trying to tell me this for a while, but I was still so frustrated with myself about it, it was hard for me to hear from Him. Your blog really helped me today.